Thousands of men die every year by gambling with their life. They do this because they don’t want anyone to think they have homosexual tendencies.

I mean, I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy having a finger up my bum, and that’s what it takes to prevent early death.

No thank you. No finger up the bum for me. I’m a real man me. Come on Grim Reaper bring it on. I’m not scared.

Alright scared isn’t the right word, but I definitely don’t want to die before my allocated appointment.

Is a muse always a women? I think it is for me. I like women. I like women because they make you do things that you don’t really want to do. Like work.

Why is that? Why do women make you work? Is it good for them or you? I think it’s a bit of both. Trouble is I’m the laziest bugger I know. There are very few peolple lazier than me. I haven’t met one yet, but if I did I would shake his hand. He probably knows the secret. Lazy bugger.

I’ve never understood why people use Word? Why? That’s how I know I’m getting old, because I can’t understand.
I used to use Word in the olden days, last century. But Word? That’s soooooooooo Last Century.

I don’t use Word. I use this Blog. My online diary.

It’s strange really, I’m using my blog now. Not Word. I’ve asked younger people why they use Word, and they’ve explained it to me. But I still don’t understand? That’s how I know I’m getting old. I used to understand last century, when I was young.

It’s a strange feeling, but the Gloucester Marathon is the first marathon I haven’t got stressed about. I’m actually looking forward to it.   This Sunday 22nd April 2011, I shall line up with hundreds of other runners, knowing I will complete the marathon, the only question is what time?

Why aren’t I worried? Well for a start, this is my 18th marathon, so I think I know the ropes. Also I’m not even training for this one, my training is focused on the Brighton marathon which is 10th April 2011. Trevor from Spa Striders suggested Gloucester because he had a bad experience  in the Edindburgh marathon last year. Edinburgh is run in May and it was very hot, too hot to get a decent race time. 

Blogger. I like the sound of that. I’ve been called worse.

When I retired, I had a problem.  People who didn’t know me used to ask “What do you do”, and I always said “bugger all I’m retired.” The trouble is people wouldn’t accept that, they didn’t believe me.

You see, I didn’t retire, I just had an expensive divorce and couldn’t afford to continue running my business, so I closed it down.

I was too young you see, only 53, so nobody believed the retired moniker, they kept asking more questions, and I got fed up with it. So I started to say “I’m an artist”. Now those of you who know me are laughing now, because I’m also a drunk.

1) Being Sober Makes You MISERABLE
OK. I know this is obvious, but it has to be said. I turned from a happy go lucky person, into a miserable cantankerous old bugger, in the space of just three days without a beer. I mean on Wednesday I had a go at people who believe in astrology. Why? They don’t do anyone any harm. I was even having a pop at God and the Catholic Church, I didn’t care, I just had to lash out. I’m sober and it hurts.

In 60 hours the dangerous and foolhardy experiment I am conducting, on behalf of ALL Mankind, will finally come to an end…….

John McNally Researcher in Leamington Spa, England

I’ve always thought it was a bit of a cheek for women to assume that just because I’m a man, I can fix things?

I left school with certificates in maths, English, geography, geology, statistics, psychology, history and politics. Where on that list does it say I can fix a car? Or mend a leaking tap? It doesn’t, so I get my mate Gary to fix things.

My job when things are getting fixed is to make Gary loads of tea, with 3 spoons of sugar in every cup, hand his tools to him, and basically just stand around like a spare part.

My name is John McNally and it’s been 74 hours since I last enjoyed a beer. This is easy. I knew I could do it. People say you can get dependent on alcohol, but I’ve proved them wrong. People. What do they know?  I hardly ever think about drinking beer, it’s just not important to me. I’m a fully rounded human being and have lots of interests. They don’t have to involve beer.

Astronomy and Astrology are often mixed up by people.

It’s understandable, they are similar looking words and are both concerned with the cosmos. If you are one of those people, here’s a handy little definition for you:

Astronomy is Science, Astrology is Superstition

So what is the science supporting astrology? Well, there isn’t any. There may be loads of pseudo-science nonsense that can impress the superstitious, but no cold hard facts.

I should perhaps apologise here to any astrology believers, because astrology REQUIRES belief before it makes any sense.