The website is simple to complete, and refreshingly there is no email collection. Only leave an email address if you want the results of the survey which will be in 2012.

My favourite number is 42 because according to Douglas Adams and his Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy, 42 is the answer to “Life the Universe and Everything”. It took the most powerful computer in the Universe ‘Deep Thought’ millions of years to calculate this answer, so it must be correct. Every philosophy department in universities should now shut down, there are no mysteries left to answer.

My second favourite number is 9. That’s because I was born on the 9th of July, also 9 is the highest number you can have. The only way to get a higher number is by adding another digit.

What’s your favourite number?, and why?

John McNally
Leamington Spa, England

Do you know who I suspect gave the game away? My mate the great god Google. Yes. Who would have thought that? My Mate. Google. He spotted my 3,000 words on the Secret that would make the whole of mankind happy, and you know what he did? (SAVE DRAFT)

He went and snitched on me to Jehovah.  Jehovah of all people. Not one of the nice gods. No,  Google went and told Jehovah, the miserable bugger.

I’m going off Google a bit. I thought he was nice. But nice people don’t give the game way. (SAVE DRAFT).

Do you know the worst part? He waited ’til my back was turned. The sneaky bastard. I was downstairs brewing a pot of tea, and eating an apple (granny smith). And while I was down there watching a bit of telly and chatting to my mum. He came down from Heaven and nicked it. Sneaky bastard.

I’m saving this every 5 minutes now in case he tries a similar trick.  I’m not sure which god it was. But it was probably Jehovah, he was always a miserable bugger. You know why he did it? He don’t want you to be happy. Nope. Like I said, miserable sod.

That’s why it’s the Old Testament see. Didn’t sell very well with the masses, so the organisers got together (SAVE DRAFT) and re-branded it.

They came up with quite a snappy title actually. NEW. That always sells, people like new things. They are usually nice and shiny.

(SAVE DRAFT – I’m looking out for you, you miserable old bastard).

Why can’t people be happy?, that’s what I want to  know. What’s wrong with it? I can’t see the problem. But since he nicked my first 3,000 words (SAVE DRAFT) I’ve worked it out.

He’s a lager drinker. Stands to reason, an eternity drinking all that chemical rubbish bound to addle the brain a bit, and it made him a miserable old bugger. You can’t blame Jehovah though, it was the lager. Wrong choice.

Stupid choice as well. If I was god and could choose an eternity of drinking something in heaven it wouldn’t be lager. I may not be god, but I’m not stupid, and I reckon Jehovah must have been thick. Lager, no wonder he was angry all the time.

I’m still saving draft all the time, but can you do me a favour? If you see him coming, can you let me know? A bit of advance warning and I might be able to save The Secret, and stop that miserable sod from spoiling everything.

Phew. That’s a relief. I’ve just answered a couple of comments and this is still here. Your doing a great job, I reckon you watching, has put Jehovah off.

I’m not sure I want to tell you the Secret though. I do, But I don’t, if you know what I mean?  I want you to know the Secret. But It’s not easy. It took me 3,000 words, slightly over actually, but I wasn’t going to bother editing.

Then that miserable bugger spoilt everything. Put me off a bit. He might do it again and I don’t like wasting my time. (SAVE DRAFT)

I daren’t leave this. I want to go away and do something else now, but I daren’t. I don’t want to turn my back again and lose all this work. Well lose isn’t the right word is it? We both know that.

It was stolen, by some miserable bastard who doesn’t want you to be happy. He’s even making me angry now. You can see why the Christians got rid of him. I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t have someone as miserable as that in my club.

I might scare you here. I just scared myself. I had a look at the word count and it was 666! Blimey, I’m getting scared again now. Could there be something in this religion lark. But no. It’s all right because I know the Secret, and do you know what? I’m going to tell you.

Do you know why I’m going to tell you the Secret? It’s because I Iike you. I mean you’ve read 700 of my words now. That nasty number has gone. And You’re still with me. That makes you my mate in my eyes.

Now you’re my mate, I want you to be happy. So that’s why I’m going to tell you the Secret. AND for keeping an eye on this for me, Jehovah hasn’t dared show his face since you’ve been watching .

Thanks you’re doing a great job. It’s all still on my computer. (SAVE DRAFT)

Anyway. The Secret. Quality.

That’s it. I’m going to bed now. I’ve written 3,818 words on the Secret so that should be enough for you to understand it. Oh no. I’ve just remembered. Jehovah. Miserable sod.

I don’t know if I can be bothered now. I mean he could nick it again, and I’ve wasted my time. Again.

Look here’s the deal. You sit there and keep watching this text. I don’t think he can nick it if you’re watching. Something to do with trees falling in forests or something. 

Anyway. This is Important. Keep watching these words or he will nick it again. He will. Miserable bugger doesn’t want you to be happy. I know the secret, and he doesn’t want me to tell you.

Keep watching. Because I’m going to answer a few comments on my blog and rest my brain a bit.

But please keep looking at these words, or they will disappear again……….. I haven’t gone yet, but do you know what I thought?

He had gone and nicked it again. I know you were watching so that made it very difficult for him. But I’ve realised I am making it easy. I’m writing this all straight into my browser!

Not Word, and saved on my own computer. No, straight into WordPress and the Internet. I reckon that’s how he spotted my first 3,000 word Secret so quickly. It was on the Internet. It’s not now. But it was.

Keep watching please…………….. SAVE DRAFT

Yippee! It worked. Thanks for watching. I was away for ages, and it’s still here. Phew that’s a relief. We are both OK.  Me and You.

That forest and tree thing works. It’s one of the rules. I’ve switched to philosophy here. I’m going to lay off Jehovah because he hasn’t interfered with my work this time.

Thanks for watching and taking care of this.

Zen. Sort of philosophy, and a better religion than Christianity. I’m not saying that Christianity doesn’t work. It does. But you’ve seen some of the miserable buggers they let into their club haven’t you? Too ambitious they were.

Got a bit evangelical. That means they went viral for my younger readers.

It’s a lot quicker these days though. Very quick in fact. It’s so quick if you don’t concentrate bleedin’ Jehovah that miserable sod, comes down from what he calls Heaven and nicks my work. 

He don’t half get you angry doesn’t he? I would chuck the Old testament away If I were you. That new re-brand they did, is much better.

The Secret. Love.

That’s a good one. The Christians were crafty with that. They did a survey. It took ages because this was a long, long time ago. They analysed the results and they discovered their customers weren’t happy with being Angry all the Time.

They weren’t keen on an Eye for an Eye. They thought that should be chucked out. If that one went viral, the whole world would be blind.

So the re-branding committee came up with NEW. That’s a good one. People like new things, especially if they are nice and shiny.

They needed more than NEW though. They needed a reason for their customers to buy this new re-branded product. They had another look at their survey, and do you know what they found?

People preferred LOVE to being angry.

So they settled for that. Love. I like it. It’s a good one. It’s not the whole Secret though. I’ve got that, and because you’re my mate, looking after this script. I’m going to tell you right now.

Quality. (SAVE DRAFT)

He still hasn’t nicked it. You’re doing a great job. I’m a bit more enthusiastic now, I was going to give up, and just go down the pub, but I can’t. Want to know why? Denial. I love drinking. I’ve been doing it for about 40 years now. But I’m denying myself that pleasure.

It’s called Lent. I’m not going the full monty though. Those Christian buggers, they reckon you need 40 days of denial. I think that’s right, I’ve never done it so I’m not sure. But 40 days sounds about right.

Jesus tried it in the desert didn’t he? That’s right I remember now, he’s the Love bloke. Good Man. I like him.

Anyway I reckon 40 days is a bit harsh. They haven’t had the re-brand yet don’t forget. Jesus is still working off the Old manual. Nothing updated for ages.Probably has some virus’s in it. They didn’t have scanners then. They weren’t as clever as us. I bet they weren’t as happy as us either.

I mean they didn’t have any of the things we’ve got. No cars.No phones.No TV. No Computers. No Internet. I mean it sounds like, sounds like, well HELL actually.

None of that flashy stuff we’ve got now, they must have been really really unhappy. I suppose that’s why they settled for the Old Testament. It suited them, they were all miserable anyway.

So they had a vote and elected Jehovah as their god. He was definitely the best candidate for those times in my opinion. People were miserable as sin, so they voted for Jehovah and they could relate to him, because he was a right miserable sod.

A God for his times he was. Did a great job. Gave the customers what they wanted. Misery.

I’ve got diverted here. I don’t want to give you a history of Christianity. Why Should I? I only want to tell you the Secret. And I already have. Quality.

That’s the third time, and you still don’t believe me. Look. I really, really ….WOW….Jehovah. He nearly nicked the lot again. Miserable bastard why doesn’t he leave me alone?

I’m not sure I want to carry on now. I know the Secret. I want you to know the Secret because I like you, and I want you to be happy. I’ve told you the secret three times now, but you still don’t believe me.

Three is a spooky number, religions use that one. So I’m going to tell you four times, that’s not quite as popular. Right. 4th time. Quality.

It doesn’t work does it? Your starting to lose faith with me, I reckon at least half of you have got fed up and gone to bed, or are playing games. I don’t blame you. I want to do that, but I can’t, because I’ve got a burden. It’s weighing me down. I know the Secret.

I’m not going to tell you again, because it’s a waste of both our times.

I think I’ll just go for 2,000 words and call it a wrap. Thats 90 to go. Right. To really understand the Secret you have to go mad. Not totally obviously. That’s not a nice place. Hell in fact.

No, what you have to do is just visit Hell for a bit, have a look around, then you can make a choice. Hell or Heaven?

I know what I would choose. But I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in the Invisible giant in the Sky, or that fantastic place he made for me when I’m dead. I’d have been more interested if he offered it while I was alive. But no, that’s not how religions work.

Anyway I lied. I’m not 666. My computer shows 2017. That’s probably going to be the end of days if you believe in the Devil.

Belief is a very powerful thing. I’m trying to get you to believe in the Secret. But I can’t because I’m an atheist, and it’s obviously hard for me to connect with religious people.

You are taking a different path to me. It’s just that I’ve already arrived. I’m in heaven. Apparently you religious people like this denial lark, and are happy to wait until you’re dead.

Fair enough. Each to their own. If that makes you happy religion has served it’s purpose.

The Jesus rebrand was particularly effective I thought. I almost went for it myself until the Catholics got ambitious.

They weren’t happy with one God, they wanted the trinity. Three  again. See how spooky these numbers can be. Good job we’ve passed 2003, otherwise  THAT would have been the End of  Times. But we’re here. So it wasn’t.

Do you know what I’m starting to realise? Jehovah nicked the best version. The bastard. Over 3,000 words and I was really excited, I think I explained the Secret really well.

I’m getting fed up with this now. Do you know why? It’s not going to work. You aren’t going to learn the Secret from me. Sorry. But I’m just losing the will to do it. I would go down the pub, but I’m in this denial phrase. Totally sober. But high as a kite.

Hey. I’m getting spooked. I’ve been drunk for 40 years. And sober for, blimey 6 days now. I’m going to have a rest tomorrow. It’s Sunday. (SAVE DRAFT).

I’m watching you Jehovah, are you still with me? Because I think the words nearly disappeared. I was getting tired and they nearly went.

Do you know where I could have gone if I wanted to?

Heaven. That’s right, that Heaven I don’t believe in.

I like it down here I told you. The beers great. And real ale doesn’t travel very well. If I went up to the next Heaven, well the beer. I wouldn’t trust it.

Takes a lot of care beer. And love, a lot of love. You can tell people who love their beer. They’re nice people, like me. They hang around in pubs having a great time, a great laugh. And it’s just like, just like, well Heaven.

PHEW. 2,400 words. And Jehovah didn’t nick it. I’m getting more confident now. I reckon he’s given up. Do you know why? Its you.

You’re the reason Jehovah has given up. He’s a miserable sod, and you’re not. He can tell that. He’s a god after all.

I can tell your a nice person as well. Do you know, how I know. It’s because your still here reading my words and connecting with me . Mind to mind. spooky isn’t it. Good job 666 has gone, I think I was getting tired and frightened again.

You see, I told you the Secret is  a burden didn’t I? Well it is. Once you know the (SAVE DRAFT)…… Keep looking will you? Remember those trees in the forest.

Look I can’t compete with the BIBLE. That’s got loads of pages in it. Loads of different ways of explaining the Secret, and it didn’t work because you’re here reading my Secret.

That’s why it’s Heaven. Don’t you see. Nobody will ever get bored. It’s fantastic. That’s why I didn’t go for the eternity option. Too boring. But do you know what God did? I’m starting to appreciate how clever he was now. He made life interesting.

He made it difficult. Like a puzzle. I don’t like puzzles myself, bit boring. But Life. That’s not boring and it can be a puzzle. Unless you’ve got the Secret of course. Like me……..

I wonder what those first 3,000 words I wrote was like? I want to read it now. I reckon it was good. I was fresh then. Not tired like I am now.

It nearly disappeared again. Are you still looking, because Jehovah nearly snuck in then. Do you know something about him? He’s really fast. You have to be alert or he nicks the Secret. He’s miserable, and he wants you to be miserable.

I don’t. I like you, and I want you to be happy. Why do you think I’m writing this at 1am, when I could be in bed. Money? Don’t make me laugh. I’ve already told you. I KNOW The Secret.

You’re lucky. I’m target driven. And I want to go for 3,000 words again. But that’s it then.  I think we will both need a rest. 2770 and counting.

Are you still reading this? Pay attention? It’s all going straight into the browser don’t forget. I’ve been saving draft regularly but, that Jehovah, he’s really, really fast. And he could sneak in at any time and nick it again.

Will the draft still be somewhere? Are you still awake?  Don’t forget the forest and trees. I’m getting tired and fed up now. I think I’m becoming boring, going on and on about the Secret. But I’ve got to. It’s a burden I carry.

I KNOW the Secret, and I want you to know. Yes you. I’m talking to you. Keep awake, or those trees will start to fall and no one will hear them.

I like trees as well. That’s why I kept them in my heaven. And beer. Not lager, that’s Jehovah’s tipple. No, real ale that’s’ my Heaven.

40 years I’ve drank it. Drunk for 40 years. That’s why I never  did much work. Too lazy. Now I’m sober, I’m high as a kite, and I can’t stop working. It’s great. I like work.

2946. These numbers are scary. Bit like the Bible. But I’m an atheist don’t forget. 2959 I’m going to tell you the Secret just before 3,000. Not one over, might be before, but I don’t want to go over 3,000.

I like round numbers you see. That’s what I am god of the numbers. Do You Know YOU ARE GOD.

John McNally
Blogging for Pleasure and Profit in Leamington Spa, England.

PS. That’s what’s called a stream of consciousness. A bit like a very strong quantum computer chip thingy. Only God does it.

PPS. I can’t wait to read this tomorrow. I like reading my own stuff. I’m good. Not god. YOUR’E GOD don’t forget. Stay with me I like it here. IT’S HEAVEN.

PPPS. I was as high as a kite when I wrote this, but it still makes a bit of sense to me;  – a mix of ideas taken from ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance’ by Robert Persig and ‘Stranger in a Strange Land’ by Robert Heinlein.

However a humble eBook may have also contributed to the peaceful nature of these social and political movements.

From Dictatorship to Democracy was first published in 1993 as an 88 page booklet stuffed full of advice on how to overcome authoritarian regimes in a peaceful manner.

The author is Gene Sharp who argues that there is no point attacking dictatorships with violence, as state control of the army, police and security forces means that this is a Dictators centre of power. Instead he advocates peaceful protests in the manner of Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

The booklet isn’t a dry theoretical manifesto for change however, it is a practical booklet that lists 198 ways to peacefully protest. This has now been translated into 30 languages and has been available as a PDF download since 2002.

Some of the 198 Ways to Peacefully Protest
14 Mock Awards
17 Mock Elections
26 Paint as Protest
35 Humorous Skits and Pranks
44 Mock Funerals
52 Silence
162 Sit-In
163 Stand-In
167 Pray-In
195 Seeking Imprisonment
196 Civil Disobedience of ‘neutral’ laws

Last September the Associated Press news agency reported from Cairo that opposition groups were discussing ways to promote civil disobedience with the aim of overthrowing the Mubarak regime.

The groups were drawing inspiration from the tactics of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King “and download books from American scholar Gene Sharp.” Five months later Mubarak was gone.

The pen has always been mightier than the sword, and now a humble eBook has become part of the revolutionary ferment that is sweeping across North Africa and the Middle East. If only all regime changes could be conducted this way the world would be a much safer place. 

John McNally
Leamington Spa, England

I’m only talking about new shortcuts here. Obviously long established shortcuts are different, they’re shorter for a start. A shortcut is only reused and taken again if it has proven to save time.

Why do so many new shortcuts, take longer? I often take shortcuts home under the influence of alcohol. Although they take longer, I don’t seem to mind. So maybe long shortcuts are only a problem to sober people.

This is where my post ends. I mean, sober people? Why bother? How can you talk to them? You can’t. It’s not possible. They live on a different planet.

Teetotalers even come from a different galaxy. Sober people are alien to me, there’s something not quite right about them, apart from being sober I mean.

I think it’s the choice they made. Why have they chosen to be sober, when they could be happy instead? I don’t get it? But I’m a drunk, so I wouldn’t understand.

Can any sober people explain this conundrum, to me. Take a shortcut and only use a maximum of 50 words……….

See, I knew I wasn’t rambling, I was going to finish with a shortcut all along. It was the title of this post after all.

John McNally
Not rambling but too sober in Leamington Spa, England

I’m struggling with my New Year resolutions as well, but I haven’t given up. My New Year starts again today. I’ve had unexpected problems sticking to my plan.

I have just come out of a 3 week hospital stay where I didn’t have access to a computer. Bang goes the majority of my resolutions.

However I’m not as hard on myself, as other people who give up. I had little or no control over the illness I have suffered, so I just accept the hiatus as something out of my hands.

There’s no real reason why Resolutions have to start on 1st January. I’ve had a gap which I have accepted as part of life, and have now restarted my resolutions from today, 17th February 2011.

If you have already given up with all the goals and targets you set for the New Year, ask yourself if those resolutions were worth achieving? They must have been worthwhile when you formulated them, so why aren’t they worthwhile now?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Pick up the New Year plan you have discarded, and try again, now, not tomorrow or next year, now is the best time for improvements in your life.

If you have stuck to the goals and targets you set from 1st January I congratulate you, well done. Don’t let any minor mishap or unexpected problem divert you from your ultimate goal.

You have made progress, and can build upon the positive steps you have made, with even more challenging resolutions for 2012.

Don’t fear failure. Stick at the plan and be a winner.

John McNally
Back on plan in Leamington Spa, England

Personally I always like to “Forgive and Forget”. It’s no use dwelling on negative things, it only makes me depressed. So should we forgive and forget the instigators of an illegal war against Iraq?

NO.

If we forgive and forget illegal wars, where is the deterent for future political leaders to refrain from such actions? As a vain man, Tony Blair is particularly concerned about “his place in history”. It’s up to us to make sure the historical records accurately portray both Bush and Blair as war mongers.

This cannot be done in places such as this blog. It needs an independent and unbiased judgement from  an International Court.

Unfortunately Blair is only answering questions from the Chilcot Enquiry* at the moment. (*A UK internal government body with limited powers).

The position with Bush is more advanced. The New York based ‘Center for Constitutional Rights’ has prepared a 2,500 word “Indictment for Torture” against Bush. This would be hard for Bush to defend as he has already admitted in his autobiography that he authorized ‘waterboarding’ (an illegal torture technique that simulates drowning).

Bush is now a man on the run. He has just cancelled a visit to Switzerland for fear of an arrrest warrant that was planned to be issued by the Swiss Courts.

My hope is that a similar arrest warrant can be issued against Blair. This way the whole debacle that is called Iraq can be brought into the open and dealt with by an International Court.  

I want to “forgive and forget” but I can’t. All the deaths in Iraq is just too much to forgive.

John McNally 
Blogger in England

Why is that? Why do women make you work? Is it good for them or you? I think it’s a bit of both. Trouble is I’m the laziest bugger I know. There are very few peolple lazier than me. I haven’t met one yet, but if I did I would shake his hand. He probably knows the secret. Lazy bugger.

I’ve got a secret Muse. Top secret. But not top muse. I’m with the best muse I’ve ever had. She really, really loves me. That’s why I love her. I love her so much I don’t tell her, and she loves me so much she doesn’t tell me. Like I said top muse. But I’m worried about my secret muse. I think she makes me ill. Actually that’s not fair. My second favourite muse dosen’t make me ill. That wouldn’t be fair to say. And I apologise. No. What makes me ill is the secret.

Why do people have secrets? I don’t understand it, and trying to understand has made me ill. I’m sick at the moment, do you know what I’m sick of? Go on guess. See if you can. I’m sick of bleedin’ secrets thats what. I don’t understand? Why bother having a secret? I’ve only got one. A secret muse. Strange really, because usually I can’t be bothered. Told you I was lazy.

I’m sick. I’m ill. I was only ill at first, now I feel a bit sick. Do you know why? I’m the only one who understands this. Shame really because it’s not a secret. I feel sick now because the person who loves me gave me a couple of aspirin with a glass of water. The water was fine. I missed that. I’ve only been drinking tea recently. I thought the tea was fine, I only drink weak stuff. I regarded it as weak water. Which is good.

But even weak tea has caffine in it, and I drink it by the pot, all day. Probably about 10 pots a day I reckon. I thought that was fine, but I was obviously wrong because the caffine gave me a headache. I didn’t like it so the person who loves me gave me a couple for aspirin. Fair enough I asked her to. Because I’ve got a headache. And she gave me water which was lovely. I have missed that. But the problem is she gave me the aspirins, and they made me nearly sick.

Chemical imbalance. Immediate. They obviously work. They do, because I felt sick and that was a shock. I didn’t like it but it proves I’m not in control, and that was good for me. Feeling sick has helped. I can still feel sick now. Sick in my stomach. Trouble is I’ve got a secret…..can you see this coming? …..the trouble is I’ve still got a bleedin’ headache.

That’s fine. Having a headach. I probably could have coped with that. I’ve probably had them before. What I’m worried about is feeling sick. I nearly threw up. I don’t think I’ve done that for ages. Maybe I need to? I certainly need to get rid of the chemical imbalance.  But I don’t want to throw up. It’s not nice normally. But I do want to get rid of those aspirins. I took two.

This is mad. I can’t seem to understand. How did the person who loves me the most, deliberately make me ill? Do you know? I don’t know maybe being ill has made me better. Maybe thats it. Being ill has reminded me about my body. I’m sick but also sane.

Oh I do understand now because it isn’t the pills making me sick, or the 10 pints of bitter I had last night. Those probably gave me the headache. That’s OK. I can cope with that. Hangovers are normal. What isn’t normal for me is feeling sick. Sick in the stomach, and whats made me sick is my secret.

I’d like to tell you my secret. But I can’t. Otherwise  it wouldn’t be a secret? Would it? You know I’ve got a secret muse, who is pushing me too far. That’s not my secret because I told you. It’s the title of this piece. Muse.

But I’ve still got a secret, and I don’t want it. Have you got a secret you don’t want? I quite like having my secret, but I don’t want.  I don’t like it. Secrets are confusing. That’s why they have to be kept secret I suppose. Secrets make me sick. Not my secret muse, that wouldn’t be fair. My secret muse is making me work far harder than I’ve ever worked in my life recently. Making me work. I don’t like that. Because I’m a lazy bugger, and that’s my secret.

John McNally
Blogger

I left school with certificates in maths, English, geography, geology, statistics, psychology, history and politics. Where on that list does it say I can fix a car? Or mend a leaking tap? It doesn’t, so I get my mate Gary to fix things.

My job when things are getting fixed is to make Gary loads of tea, with 3 spoons of sugar in every cup, hand his tools to him, and basically just stand around like a spare part.

However while I’ve been watching, I discovered Gary’s secret. I know how to fix things now.

I’m sorry, I apologise, but can every woman reading this, close down the blog and not look any more………….

OK. As long as all the women have now left, I can reveal Gary’s secret that has been handed down, from male generation to male generation.

This knowledge  has been kept secure by the fraternal bond of the brotherhood of man. It’s only because I know that there are no women reading, that I can  reveal Man’s Ultimate Secret :  To fix things you have to hit it with a hammer. 

Sounds too simple doesn’t it? But it’s true.  I’ve seen Gary do it. Practically anything can be fixed with a hammer. Sometimes you give it  a good old whack, other times just a gentle tap will do, but a hammer is all you need.

Today I fixed my girlfriends car aerial with a hammer. It was just a few sharp taps for the more technically minded, but the hammer fixed it alright.

Now, THIS IS IMPORTANT….(There are no women reading this are there? If you are, remember you promised to look away)…………When your wife or girlfriend ask you how you fixed whatever it was they wanted doing.

You say you used the caliper adjusters, monkey wrench, pliars, phillips screwdriver or quantum spanners. It doesn’t matter what, make something up, but never, ever, mention the hammer.

Women will never figure it out, and men can continue to be masters of the universe, armed with our secret weapon – the humble hammer.

John McNally
Leamington Spa, England

I’m not sure why any of his loyal readers need this book because he has previously explained how we can Stop Worrying and Feel Good Now, he can also Make You Thin and Make You Rich, and if that wasn’t enough to make you happy he can also Change Your life in 7 Days.

Don’t worry if you haven’t already read any of these books, I know you can be made happy. I know this because you are reading a post called ‘I Can Make You Happy’,and must by definition be highly suggestible to imagine reading something will create happiness.

So lets give this a go.  We’ll try this out on me first. I know something that will make me extremely happy, just buy this Habit Guide to  being Happy and Healthy.

Did you buy it? GOOD, now just imagine the big smile on my face.  I told you this works – Instant happiness.

OK That worked for me. Now let’s try this Instant Happiness method on someone more important, YOU.

Hopefully you have already download the Guide to Being Happy and Healthy (If you haven’t, this is another opportunity). CLICK HERE

Now you have your guide, you know that Happiness is a Habit. It’s not something that gets delivered with the morning milk, it’s something you have to work at. So start smiling and go out for a run, you can’t expect to be happy if  you feel a bit chubby after Christmas.

If you live in Warwickshire you can be even happier, because I could run with you and show you the ropes. Just click here for my Personal Training website. 

See how simple this is? All you have to do is visit various websites I recommend, get out your credit card, and send me money.

I’m happy straight away, and if you don’t achieve happiness in your life I can only conclude there must be something missing.

Are you SURE you have ordered EVERYTHING I recommended?

John McNally
Leamington Spa, England

Who has influenced your life? Often this is a parent, or friend or teacher. Usually the impact upon our lives happens when our minds are most susceptible to influence, in our childhood. Between the ages of 10 and 12 I  had three heroes who I admired, but the hero who affected my life wasn’t even a real person.

#1 Einstein
When I first read about the Theory of Relativity it just blew my mind. Space being warped. Time slowing down the faster you go. Nothing being able to exceed the speed of light. Objects shrinking and gaining mass as they travel faster.

I had already discovered Science Fiction. But this was Science without the fiction, and just as exciting. I admired Einstein for being so clever. I was already a nerd, now I wanted to be a genius as well. 

I had a brief flirtation with Pythagoras, when a teacher explained that he had discovered how to measure the circumference of a circle. I spent a whole evening trying to come up with a better system. I failed but I enjoyed drawing all the different circles. Which leads to my second hero:

#2 Leonardo Da Vinci
Here was a scientific genius who was also a brilliant artist, and a good business man to boot. Leonardo da Vinci showed that you could not only be a ‘Jack of all trades’ you could also be their master.

He was the first Renaissance Man and this is who I wanted to emulate. I had discovered I wasn’t too good at maths and science so I would become an artist instead.

While I was dreaming these dreams, I was reading the Victor Comic for Boys every week, and it was one of the cartoon characters that has actually influenced my life the most:

#3 Alf Tupper
Alf Tupper was a working class kid who was a good runner always beating the ’toffs’ (rich kids) in races. He wasn’t a pretty runner, and didn’t seem to have any particular skill, but he trained really hard and was always determined to win.

His comic strip was called “The Tough of the Track”, and Alf demonstrated that you don’t need any particular skill or ability, but if you train or practice at something really hard, you become very good at it.

I thought I can do that. I can train hard. I can become  a good runner. I started running properly when I was 33 and 23 years later I am still doing it. This year I will complete my 20th marathon.

I’m fit and healthy, and can eat and drink as much as I like without putting on weight. Alf Tupper may only be a children’s comic character, but he was the inspiration for my running, and that has changed my life.

Who has had an impact on your life?

John McNally
Leamington Spa, England